coming through in the clutch is a crucial part of a friendship; it makes the person so much more valuable, and establishes a different level of connectivity between the parties involved. it doesn’t mean that you should drop your entire life every time someone needs something from you. it means that when it matters most, you go to the greatest lengths possible to keep your friend from falling.

i’m the kind of person that gets along well with everyone, or at least tries. so laughter, and partying, and going out to dinner and drinks are doable with a variety of people. these are merely building blocks; the branches of the tree, not the roots. for me, the moment where a glorified acquaintanceship transfers into a friendship with potential is in the clutch. this is where the proverbial wheat and chaff are separated. we can be giggles and smiles and late night adventures all we want. but it’s that moment of desperation, that opportunity to show and prove your care and loyalty, that is permanently defining of what we’ll be in the future (if we’ll be at all).

the problem is that being clutch is easily abused, especially if it becomes a label of sorts. it’s one thing to know that a friend is reliable. it’s another to know that they’ll do anything, any time for you, even if it’s to their detriment. that’s a powerful little bit of information when used the wrong way. and when it is, it leads to a parasitic relationship in which one party frequently solicits the “services” of their go-to friend, but disappears completely should the other be in a bind. i’ve been there, and it sucked. there’s a certain level of disdain that is created when you come to the realization that regardless of all your efforts, the person will always fail to reciprocate.

i’ve learned much from the past, and function in my friendships accordingly. long story short: coming through in the clutch is very valuable to me. therefore, if you fry me in that setting, particularly when i’ve gone hard for you when the tables were turned, demotion or deletion are the only options. i feel sad for the people who have yet to learn this lesson, but i’m more happy for those who are able to find a symbiosis of sorts, and be there for each other equally.

…because that’s what [good] friendships are made of, right?

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